I’ve officially been a senior at Ludlow High School for 79 days, and to sum it up, it’s been a mix of every single emotion possible. There has been anxiety over how I’m going to do my English essay, finish 30 pages of government notes, work on my common app, and go to soccer practice. However, there’s been plenty of laughs and smiles shared among friends over countless inside jokes. I’ve even had some sentimental moments when I sit back quietly and it hits me: I’m graduating soon.
The first three years of high school passed by so quickly. As cheesy as it sounds, it feels like just last week I was in Mulvehill’s Honors Western Civ class or playing on the freshman girls soccer team. I was that lost little freshman who sat shyly in the back of the room not saying a word, terrified of all upperclassman.
I’m no longer a freshman though, I’m a senior. Now, I’m no longer afraid of upperclassman, I’m as upper class as you can get. I’m finally comfortable here at LHS, and as soon as I get comfortable I’m faced with leaving.
Now, the whole concept of college is no longer a concept, it’s a reality. The whole process is slowly dragging on and slowly driving me insane.
In the earlier years of high school, college seemed like this whole new exotic and exciting place that I couldn’t wait to reach. Now, the whole process of college– the common app, the supplement apps, the visits to endless amounts of universities, the essays, the recommendations, actually applying, and the possibility of rejection– all make me want to crawl up in a corner and find my way back to freshman year.
You can even ask my teachers. I’ve repeatedly told them, “I’m not applying cause I’m gonna fail every single class this year and stay in high school forever.”
Maybe I’m  being a little extreme.
It’s time though. It’s time for all of us preparing to graduate to think things through and make decisions on leaving all our friends, family, and everything familiar behind. It’s overwhelming, stressful, complicated, and terrifying. Yet, it’s exciting.
Once you get passed all the applications and decisions you have to make, you realize that you are moving on to this whole new exotic and unexplored part of your life, free of any previous ties.
You’re no longer going to be that kid who played Ludlow soccer, or that kid in that play, or president of your class. You’re going to go to college and be whoever you want, because you can.
So while the whole process makes me cower in the corner and gives me constant anxiety, I’m excited for the great unknown that growing up and moving on will bring. And all my classmates out there should be too.