Many historical figures have absolutely no background in fighting (and no business doing it), but what would happen if they did? 

To answer this question, I put some well-known figures into a fighting tournament. The rules of the tournament are simple: a fist fight is explored between the two contestants, and the winner advances to the next round.

The beginning matches are pictured below:

Round One

Martin Luther vs. Martin Luther King Jr.

Both men attacked with their words, not actions, so this fight is difficult to predict. 

Martin Luther was known to be an angry and crude man (he admitted that his biggest sin was anger), and considering that Martin Luther King Jr. openly stood for nonviolence, Luther would definitely be the one to start the fight. However, King would likely be able to stand up for himself. Even if King did not make any aggressive moves, general movement would help him evade Luther. Evidence suggests that Martin Luther weighed up to 330 pounds, so he likely would not be able to chase King around the ring for a long enough time to win the fight. King also played football in his youth, so he has an athletic background and can probably take a hit if necessary.

Despite his initial aggression, Luther would likely not stand long in a fight against a younger, slimmer, and more athletic individual such as King, allowing Martin Luther King Jr. to earn the win against Martin Luther.

Abraham Lincoln vs. Robert E. Lee

Robert E. Lee was a war general during the Civil War—he is a master at strategy when it comes to fighting. However, Abraham Lincoln was a massively successful professional wrestler, documented as only losing one match across a twelve-year time period.

Lee was known to make offensive moves in battle, so he would likely make the first move against Lincoln in an attempt to catch him off guard; however, he attended West Point for school, and, during the time he graduated, the curriculum was reported to not focus on hand-to-hand combat.

Lincoln also has over a decade of experience in fighting, so he would easily be able to recover from the initial attack (if Lee was even able to hit him). Because of Lincoln’s dominance in fighting, he would easily win. No strategy Lee could apply would win against a wrestling professional like Lincoln.

Theodore Roosevelt vs. Rasputin

Theodore Roosevelt was President of the United States, and is known for fighting in the Spanish-American War. However, he had a lesser-known hobby of combat. While attending Harvard, Roosevelt was active in the boxing club, and performed decently in that. He also hosted matches in the White House as President.

Rasputin’s alleged death story (provided by his killer) depicts him surviving mass amounts of poison, a beating, and a gun shot—which was in close range to his head. Rasputin was also confirmed to survive being stabbed in the stomach by a woman two years prior, and was known for frequently starting drunken brawls.

In a fight between the two, there would be extremely different fighting tactics shown. Roosevelt would favor a polished form, while Rasputin would have a scrappier approach, as he had no formal training. 

To begin the fight, both men would attack the other, and it would initially look like a clear win for Roosevelt. But, it would be very difficult for Roosevelt to tire Rasputin enough to win; therefore, it is likely that Rasputin would ultimately triumph.

Albert Einstein vs. Isaac Newton

Both scientists would likely favor an intellectual battle rather than a physical one…but they are smart enough to know that’s not how a physical fighting tournament works.

Einstein was believed to have dyspraxia, which is a chronic condition affecting motor skills and coordination. On the contrary, Isaac Newton fought crime as Warden of the Royal Mint. 

Isaac Newton would take his crime-fighting skills to the battle, and he would easily be able to defeat Einstein, who would not be able to keep up with the training that Newton had.

Round Two 

Martin Luther King Jr. vs. Abraham Lincoln

Even with the triumph against Luther, Martin Luther King Jr. is ultimately no match for the wrestling powerhouse and former US president, Abraham Lincoln.  

Lincoln went nearly undefeated against many trained professionals, and King did not have any training. He would easily be able to use his training to defeat King quickly in their match.

Rasputin vs. Isaac Newton

Rasputin may seem more likely to win because of his defeat against Roosevelt, who failed in his competition against Rasputin because of his training. Newton was also trained, so this seems like a disadvantage. However, Newton’s training was specifically against criminals (who typically are not professionally trained).

It is likely the match would be long-lasting, full of action, and very scrappy, but Newton’s experience in the field would ultimately come out on top.

Final Battle 

Abraham Lincoln vs. Isaac Newton

Both men are professional fighters in some form. Newton specialized in defense, while Lincoln was a well-trained and nearly undefeated wrestler.

The height difference would drastically contribute to the strategy of both men in the fight. As most people know, Lincoln was the tallest US president at 6 ‘4″. But Newton was only 5’ 6”. Because of his short height compared to Lincoln, getting close, to the ground, and making quick movements would give him a very large advantage and greater chance of winning. 

Lincoln does stay at an advantage if Newton is unable to get close or take him to the ground due to his longer reach, so his primary goal would be to keep Newton far away. It is likely he would succeed in this goal. 

In 1831, Abraham Lincoln fought a man named Jack Armstrong, who was allegedly around 5’8” and had experience fighting. Lincoln won that fight. 

Since Lincoln has already shown his ability to win against shorter opponents, it is likely that he would do the same against Newton, and Newton would be added to the long list of men that were defeated by Lincoln.