Heart•break

/härt ˌ brāk/

noun : overwhelming distress.

The odds are that you will most likely face at least one heartbreak during your lifetime. Heartbreak doesn’t necessarily have to be associated with a break up between you and a significant other. Heartbreak can also be caused by a parent, a very upsetting event, or as the definition says , anything that causes “overwhelming distress” in your life. I personally am going to be discussing the heartbreak caused by a significant other.

Overcome by the emotion :

As someone who has experienced the overwhelming pain of heartbreak, I personally feel that the best way to explain it is that it is an immense feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Nothing feels right and it is as if that one person is absolutely everywhere. When I say “everywhere,” I don’t mean physically, I mean it more symbolically. It’s kind of like no matter where you go, what you do, or who you try to talk to , they are just in everything and everyone. For instance, if a certain song comes on that you associated with that person at one time comes on, BOOM. A wave of extreme sadness will hit you like a bus. If a movie you used to always watch with that person comes on tv, or you see a post about it or whatever, your heart just shatters even more .

I’m not saying that all people are like this , but if you’re like me, you are extremely soft and sentimental so it just all kinda overcomes you. Heartbreak truly is the worst type of pain in my opinion. No physical pain or other inconvenience has ever tired me out the way heartbreak has.

The worst type of heartbreak:

As I stated before, this truly is just an opinion piece so my ideas may not be the same as yours . If you are still interested keep reading, if not, that’s completely fine as well. What I hate most is adults telling teens that all of the feelings of love they experience is nothing but “puppy love.”  I believe that absolutely NOBODY can tell you how you feel about another individual because you are the only one who truly knows and truly feels the feelings you are feeling and if anyone ever tries to invalidate that , they are cold hearted and either have probably never experienced the feeling of love , or they are unhappy with all past experiences involving the love they gave and/or were given. You don’t even have to be dating someone to love them and/or be heartbroken by them which is another thing I wish more people were more open minded about.

One of my favorite quotes stated by one of my favorite singers, Lana Del Rey, is “When another person’s happiness is your happiness, that’s love.” I completely 100% agree with that quote . If you have ever gotten really close to someone, you start to pick up on the glimmer in their eyes and the pure joy in their smile when they talk about the things they love aka their “happiness.” It’s the simple things you fall in love with first and you just keep falling for more and more things you adore about that person until you love them as a whole. That is when YOU KNOW you are in love .

Being around that one individual is the only place you ever want to be because it’s just like time stops and it’s only you and that person in the moment and any pain you were feeling beforehand just slips away. Love can be beautiful, but it can also be evil and traumatic. When that one person who had the ability to fill your life with pure bliss breaks your heart, you feel the whole world is coming to an end. If you are in the situation where you weren’t even dating the person, but had insane feelings for them that you thought were mutual, you almost start to feel like you are crazy. How can you explain to someone that you are heartbroken over someone you didn’t even actually date ? Easily, just like that.

Like I said earlier, other people will constantly try to invalidate your feelings in life and try to tell you how YOU feel, but what they say DOES NOT MATTER . Your feelings are and always will be valid no matter what you go through and how you go through it. Even I forget this sometimes, but I always make sure to remind myself of that.

It’s Not an Easy Fix:

You’re going to want to go back to the person. You are going to try to find them in everything and everyone else, but you won’t succeed. You’re going to feel absolutely hopeless, like you will never feel that sense of euphoria again. There are going to be sleepless nights lying awake thinking of them. Those thoughts will come in waves; sometimes in small ones, but at other times, those waves can turn into a tsunami and they will drown you. You’ll have days where you won’t want to get out of bed or just do anything. At times you will feel 100% completely empty and lifeless.

This is all completely 100% tragic and probably one of the worst parts about being human, but this is also all 100% natural. You are a human being with valid human being emotions. It is okay to feel this way about this situation. It’s okay to cry about it. It is all okay. There are going to be tears and there is going to be pain. IT IS ALL OKAY. A broken heart is NOT something that can be mended overnight ( if you are an actual decent human being and not a literal sociopath ). It might take several weeks, months, or even years sometimes to get over that one person and what they did to you.

The amount of time your broken heart takes to mend all really depends on who you are as a person and how much you cherish the beautiful moments in life. You’re Not pathetic if you are having a really hard time getting over someone and you should never let anyone invalidate the way you feel.

Distract Yourself, This is a Wound That Only Time Can Heal:

As lame as it may sound, and as hard as it may be to believe, time is the only thing that can and will heal a broken heart. In the meantime, find what you love and throw your all into it. Don’t depend on another person to give you that feeling of bliss, find a hobby. Whether it’s art, music, sports, anything. Use the pain you feel to inspire the things you love. Your art will become better, your music will become more powerful, you will grow stronger skills in the sport you play, you will become better at whatever you love if you transfer the pain you feel into something beautiful.

You will find someone else eventually. It may not seem like it, but you will. It will happen when you least expect it. Until then, focus on you and developing the love for yourself that you have been giving to everyone else.