Through the Eyes of a Pessimist

Through the Eyes of a Pessimist

Sarah Martins, Guest Writer

“Expect the worst and you will never be disappointed.”

I may be considered a pessimist, but truthfully, I’m just an optimistic person that experiences a ton of misfortune. Take this morning for example. I woke up in high spirits. I dressed a little nicer, wearing my new, dark-wash, ripped jeans and favorite flannel (because who doesn’t love flannel Friday?), did my makeup a little prettier, and walked outside. And of course, what had to happen at precisely 6:37 a.m.? Down pouring showers and a wind chill of 34 degrees. As I was getting soaked by water, I took it as a sign that the world hated me. Next time I just won’t try and be presentable to the world outside of my house, I’ll just stay inside forever, I thought to myself.

Sometimes, I really believe I could be an optimist because optimistic people always view the world at large. But then that thought vanishes from my mind when I encounter people who make absolutely zero sense to me. Take the “try-hards” in gym for example. They basically form their own group because we all know those kids who give 150% in gym class. By the end of the 42-minute class period, they are huffing and puffing, gasping for any bit of air they can manage. They even bring a third change of clothes to gym because they sweat through their original change of clothes. Also, they get totally angry when one of their teammates doesn’t catch a ball that was impossible to catch in the first place. So what, you won a close game of freeze tag. What’s next, you make it to nationals for gym activities? No, I didn’t think so either. Another example of people who do not make the least bit of sense in my mind are those individuals who try and take one trip of transporting their grocery bags from their car to their house. More than likely, those same people are probably the ones who treat gym like it’s the Olympics. Just take two trips, you’ll save your energy and still feel good about yourself for bringing the groceries inside.

I hope that one day everyone in the world has the same level of common sense that I harness. For example, when the season transforms to autumn, naturally, all the leaves swiftly float from their old home of the trees to their new home atop the ice burned grass. A leaf-so simple and delicate as it may look- presents itself so beautifully and vibrant with color on trees, but when it reaches the ground, it is a nightmare to free your lawn from. So. Many. Leaves. Driving by your community, you will find a small selection of people who rake their lawns day in and day out. For what purpose does this serve? you may ask, if more leaves will only fall tomorrow and yet again hide your lawn? The world may never know. Just wait out the hurricane of leaves and just rake them all up at the end of the season.

Lastly, when you attend driving school and you have to learn all the silly “Rules of the Road” we all know deep, deep down inside that nine times out of ten you will never use those rules. Those hand signals where you stick your hand out of the window and inform other drivers of which way you’re turning? Useless. What are those signals on your car for, then? You’re probably thinking right now: Oh, you’ll use the hand signals when your actual car signals are broken or something. No. That never happens. Ever. Even if it were to happen, there is a very simple solution. Go get it fixed. I know, shocker. So roll your window back up and put your hands back at 10 and 2.

It might come across that I hate most people who walk this earth. But the truth is, I’m actually a very, very caring and positive human being at that (when necessary). Sometimes, I think that maybe I should be a full time optimist. Being a cheerleader as I am, one would assume that I would be positive and preppy all the time. But then again, being annoyingly positive doesn’t seem all that fun now does it?