The Do’s and Don’ts of treating your girl


Shayla Costa, Staff Writer

Boys, listen up. Stop asking your best friend (who so happens to be talking to TWO girls at the same time) for advice on your girlfriend. Trust me, he’s going to say the wrong things.

Instead, ask for advice from one of your closest friends that’s a girl, or you can take my own personal advice that’s written here from my heart to yours. Why would you trust me? Well, I’ve been in a relationship for more than a year now, so it’s safe to say I know how guys should be treating girls. I’ve seen the wrong and right ways in the hallways, face to face, and even, for some reason, on Twitter. Girls want to be treated with respect, dignity, and pride. We want you to show us off, we want to be the center of your world, we want to rely on you, and we want to be yours only. But, if you keep brushing us off, not being trustworthy, or just being the worst, unsympathetic boyfriend ever, you’re going to lose us. It’s a given.

So screenshot this, save it, even take notes. These are the do’s and don’ts of treating a girl, from a girlfriend’s perspective.

Do: Make the time to give her little surprises. I am NOT saying to go out and buy her a Michael Kors purse or something ridiculously expensive. You’re her boyfriend, you know the little things she likes, like her favorite candy, flower, or dessert. If she’s having a bad day, go to Dunkin, get her an ice coffee, get her favorite magazine, some candy, maybe even some flowers, and make the effort to surprise her at her house. These surprises show that you actually care a lot about her and the relationship you two have. Oh, and you’ll get major bonus points if you stay with her to comfort her.

Don’t: Break the promises you make to her. And don’t make promises that are unrealistic. It’s great to make amazing plans for the weekend with her, but if something comes up in your schedule that’s actually important, tell her so she understands that you’re not blowing her off for your friends. In this situation, just make it up to her, reschedule your plans and make sure she’s content with everything. However, do not get her hopes up with an unrealistic promise. You can’t keep promising to do something for her and never do it. It’s going to lead her on and ultimately crush her feelings.

Do: Listen to her, no matter what. Even if she’s complaining non stop about how much her job sucks or how much she doesn’t like your friend. Just listen to her. I know it sucks because you probably don’t care, but she needs someone to vent to that will hear her and comfort her. She needs to know that you are there for her, even if she’s being a pain in the butt. When you listen to her, you get to see the real her, what she likes and doesn’t like, and then you can remind her about something she said, which in turn will let her know that you really do pay attention to what she tells you.

Don’t: Ignore her. EVER. Don’t ignore her when you’re fighting, don’t ignore her when you’re with your friends, just do not ignore her. If you two are fighting, and she says “Just leave me alone,” please do not listen to her. Do not leave her alone, do not ignore her texts and calls, and do not end the argument on bad terms. You need to talk it out, and ignoring her will only make the situation worse. And do not ignore her when you are hanging out with your friends or doing something else when you can still communicate with her. She needs you, and if you’re not there for her, you really need to re-evaluate yourself.

Do: Make time for her. Try to make plans once a week, even simple things like getting together to do homework, study, or grabbing something to eat. Anything, really. Just try to balance school, sports, friends, work, and your girlfriend. If you can’t make time, try to tell her that you have a lot going on, and to promise to go out on a date or hang out whenever you are free. Just don’t ditch her for your friends or anything else (depending on the situation), ever. What you can do is hang out with your friends and your girlfriend, unless of course they don’t like each other.

Don’t: Forget the little things. Do not forget her birthday, do not forget your anniversary, do not forget anything she says. How would you feel if you told her something important, and she just forgot about it or didn’t even care? Well, that’s how she feels if you do that to her. I know it can be kinda hard, especially if her life is complicated or crazy, but if you just ask reminders, like “When is our anniversary again?” or “When was that important date that you were talking about?” she’ll understand more instead of having you completely forgetting and not saying anything. It may seem like no big deal to you, but trust me, it’s a big deal to us.

Do: Show how much you care. Take the time to send cute texts, it will let her know you care about her. But it’s not just cute texts like “I miss you,” it can range from comforting words to just asking how her day went. Ask how her test in math went, how her family is doing, how she is feeling. The best text’s you can send her are good morning and goodnight texts. It’ll show that she’s the first and last person on your mind. However, do not base your relationship on just texting. A phone call is simple, can be as short or long as you want, and trust me it always makes me happy to hear my boyfriend’s voice on the other line. You could also do little things to help her out, and you can take my advice from the first Do to help you further.

Of course there are plenty more, but you can’t rely on me. I’m not going to write a handbook. If you can tell that you did something wrong, or hurt her in any way, just keep in mind what you did, try to fix it and never do it again. Always talk things out with your girl, and never leave a conversation on bad terms. She’s your girlfriend, you have to show her you really care about her.