People fight over stupid things every day. Relationships end, friendships break, and your dog hates you after a brutal fight that ended in a few heated words or barks. It’s common for people to fight. It’s common for most living things to fight. It shows that we are alive.

Battles erupt and wars are fought over many different things, but the most common reasons are for love, loyalty, or honor. Other times it’s for survival. So why do people fight over such trivial things sometimes?                                        

Back in the day, like over a few decades ago, in the year 1325, a beautiful bucket was born. Okay, that’s a joke, but a bucket was blessed by the Pope for the small city-state of Bologna. The widespread myth is that the rival city-state, Modena, stole the prized bucket from the people of Bologna, which led to the war of the bucket.

 What a stupid thing to fight over. 

It’s estimated that around 2,000 people in total lost their lives over a bucket. A BUCKET. Now, if you think long and hard about this, you could figure that the reason for this war was for honor–or for the love of a bucket–but that’s not something most people find honorable. Does it count? Yes. Is it still stupid? Also yes. 

Then again, in the wise words of Mr.Cangemi, “What can be stupid to one person may not be stupid to another person. So, who am I to judge?” 

Who are we to judge? To the people of Bologna, this was a very serious and reasonable reason to go to war. While other people–like myself–look back at this and wonder, “who in their right mind would die over a bucket?”

That’s the question we have to ask ourselves. Is any reason to go to war completely stupid? or is any reason to go to war justifiable in some sense? 

Now, let’s rewind a bit. There’s some context I left out when explaining the “War of the Bucket” to you. All you need to know is that the bad people of Modena stole a holy bucket from the poor people of Bologna…or…do you want to know more? Do you want the full context? Were you thrown off when I labeled the reason as why this war started as a “myth?” Instead of just stating it as a fact. Did you question me and assume that you weren’t getting the full story? 

You see, that’s a common pattern in these stupid–but objectively funny–wars. The people fighting are riled up to be mad, they’re told who to fight, and then bam. We’re at war, baby. No other context is given other than who is bad and who is not…no other information is needed when you rile up a crowd enough. Now…this is a great way to transition into the EMU WAR.

Yes. You read that right. There was a time when humans went to war with a bunch of flightless birds. Did you also know that we lost…to…these…birds?… Birds are scary, man.

Anyways, “The Emu War” was declared in 1932 by Sir George Pearce, and the “army” was led by Major G.P–who has a rather difficult name to spell. The war was claimed to be declared in the name of the people. Specifically, the western farmers who kept having their crops desecrated by the rapidly growing Emu population.

So, inherently, fighting a bunch of birds is a very stupid concept. Especially one that had a humongous population during the 1900s. But the intent behind it was sweet. 

Mr.Bly gave me a good point on why we fight over stupid things, “Usually it is not the small thing that upsets us; it is generally something much bigger, but the ‘small thing’ puts us over the edge.” 

To give you more context on the Emu war, the western farmers, who were losing their crops to these birds, were Veterans from WW1. They were given land after 1918, and then in the years after, the Veterans were losing more and more of their crops as the Emu population grew. But with the spark of the depression, and the decrease of crops, the Australian people were sick and tired of these birds.

Now let’s go back to the War of the Bucket. The context I left out was the fact the two city-states (Modena and Bologna) had extreme political and religious tensions brewing for 100 years before the War of the Bucket. 

 Mr.Bly had pointed out that “the tension might be political, religious, economic, etc. or a combination of a bunch of things. An event happens (theft of a bucket;)”… “and that is “the straw that broke the camel’s back.’’

Could you justify any of these reasons, though? The turmoil of the Emu War–which started from a community’s love of the veterans—to the War of the Bucket–which started because of disagreements. Or would you consider these reasons stupid?

If you do consider these reasons stupid, then bravo, you’re a smart cookie. You want context. You need the story. You’re not gonna go fight someone else’s war unless there’s more to fight for.

 There’s one thing people have to keep in mind, a thing that many people forget, is that we shouldn’t blame the people fighting. We should blame the ones who orchestrated the wars in the first place. The same people who will use trigger words to get the masses all up and arms for a cause.

“We can’t blame the people fighting, but [rather] the ones who organize it,” Mrs.Zianio stated.

Fighting is never going to stop–it’s in our nature to fight. It’s a survival instinct that keeps us alive, and what we fight for reflects on our person as a whole. Someone who values family more might fight for love, while a more career-focused person will fight for loyalty. 

Now, because I can’t think of any other way to end this, let’s transition to honorable mentions: The War of Jenkins’ ear, The War of the Pig, Maine Potato War, and The Soccer War. Very funny battles. Very stupid reasons. Very reflective of our society as a whole.

Now, remember, kids, don’t do drugs. Oh my bad. This is about stupid battles. Now remember, kids, next time you get overly upset at someone for something stupid–and you said some things you regret–make sure to say “you’re sorry” to those you love.